According to statistics, the United States in 1970 500,000 pairs of men and women living together, and today the figure is close to 500 million, in addition to millions of people have been living together. Some men choose to live together in this way has been, never married, but only a tiny minority. Head 90% of young people before the United States is still willing to get married, more than half of people have pre-marital cohabitation, but in Sweden, France and Quebec, cohabitation has begun to replace marriage.
Reason: just to save some rent?
sociologist at the University of Michigan, said young people believe that living together before marriage is not a period of time is stupid, they do not want to repeat the mistakes of previous generations, but to rush marriage ended in divorce. Thus, cohabitation is a useful tool, you can avoid unhappy marriages and divorce. According to statistics, about half of the final choice cohabitants separate.
Pennsylvania State University sociologist Paul Ah Ma Tuo said that when people choose to get married, much more critical than the selected object cohabitation. Many people living together just to share the cost of living, more insecure, or just want some company, but not very into this relationship.
Cohabiting men and women live together, almost by accident. For example, they always place together, and just one house lease expires, and just live with it! Another case of cohabitation, is not sure the other one is a suitable marriage material: He loved drinking, noise from the frame to her ... ... so they are not human no commitment trial to live together.
Hazard: The instability problems
Recent research indicates that cohabitation have adverse effects on close relationships. Premarital cohabitation before marriage, the divorce rate is twice that of people living together. Selected men and women living together to marriage, divorce, less traditional ideas, do not feel what a sacred marriage. This means that men and women living together after marriage, when marriage was ill, will be rather easy to determine a divorce.
Some sociologists believe that unmarried Cohabitation likely to divorce there are other reasons, such as annual household income of less than 20 005 thousands of U.S. dollars, the first 15 years of marriage increased the likelihood of divorce. Shi Moke said the money means that the future economic stability, to live in a safe environment, This factor is more important than living together. The survey found that many cohabitants tend to income and education levels are low, could damage their relations.
study also pointed out that the exchange at the wedding Oath of the people living together before marriage and of poor quality, lower marital satisfaction, more arguing, poorer communication, loyalty is low. Scholars believe that the love of cohabitation weakens the commitment to intimate relationships. This means that people They had wanted to ensure the quality of marriage living together, but it may backfire. Susan Brown found that cohabiting couples more likely to feel depressed, which is related to their precarious financial situation. Therefore, long-term cohabitation is rare, and most of People break up or get married in 5 years. She said that the uncertainty of the future relationship cohabitant is troubled by the problem.
Cohabitation also have a serious problem: children. 40% of cohabitants have children, the United States about 350 million children live with two unmarried adults. Mental health and academic achievement in these children than the children of married parents are worse part of it, which is related to the instability of cohabitation.
Consideration: More women than men even worse
Once living together, will encourage their relatives get married: Married ah? Or fear, rather than true love. Jacobs, John Jacobs in New York psychiatrist, said many men and women living together in a few years later, indecisive about whether to marry each other, to feel that they deserve to live together girlfriend, because he takes Her too much time - if you do not marry her, she could only return with an older single Women have even more afraid. Research evidence shows that the process of women living together Lack of control. She may assume that the two of them are step by step toward marriage, but the savings may simply be the man to rent and enjoy the company of someone's life. USA Bowling Green State University sociologist Susan cloth Long study found that men and women living together, if the man want to get married, then the chance of getting married until relatively large, but the woman want to get married is not.
Some men will be living with the uncertainty brought into the marriage, resulting in a devastating post Fruit. In 2004, psychologist Division Waters Tenney telephone survey of the nation's nearly 1,000 people, found that men living together before marriage premarital loyalty different than their low-ranking males, while women were not the case. Therefore, He reminded the women of note: / p>
Finally, although men will also be burdened with cohabitation, but always bear the brunt of a woman, the reason is very simple: they are easy to unwanted pregnancies.
Chinese living together: men and women sharing from the start
Hao Yi Women Counseling Research Center Tong Mei Mei said China's cohabitation Many groups are just out of college graduates, young, away from his family, and lived a environment, the emotional Individuals can rely on the hope to eliminate the sense of insecurity and anxiety, and addressing the needs of nature, tend to find a companion. Many men and women sharing from the beginning, soon fell in love has become the common-law relationship.
In contrast, marriage need to meet many conditions, including both parents agree, A lot of money and other, cohabiting relationships much easier. Moreover, once the life of discord, divorce, division of property involved, the man's cost is relatively large, and cohabitation can be only one party to move out. But two people live together, Unavoidable collision of values, sexual disharmony and living habits are different, both sides need tolerance, cohabitation and marriage is much greater than the tolerance, and thus more stable.
Cohabitation of the girls hurt more because many people do not know what the role of cohabitation, if the lack of knowledge of contraception, unwanted pregnancies will increase the damage of cohabitation.
Strategy: Towards a permanent commitment to
Into the fact that cohabitation is, how to reduce their adverse effects? The experts recommended cohabitation Who make a permanent commitment to each other, for example, the first engagement. Research has shown that, after the engagement between cohabitants and married quite the quality, not to make any commitment than cohabitation high. In addition, understanding the idea of living with the other half is also Important, for example to avoid the
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